I’m taking a break from politics while the waters go down in the Carolinas to write about a scourge once thought of as cute, but in reality, awful. Squirrels. Bushy-tailed armies from hell, I would suggest. And I am not at all alone in this.

Here is why.

I left our home in Evanston on Aug. 11 for a one week vacation at Bethany Beach, Del., My wife and I packed and our dedicated dog, Lulu, stayed in place in the house with my son. The apple trees, a Gala and a Fugi, were loaded after weeks of careful crop management and diligent non-fatal spraying.

My plan was to come home from vacation and start harvesting!

But when I came home after just one week of vacation, the harvesting was already done. Squirrels ran off with hundreds of apples from each tree. There were none left. Not a single one.

I don’t know what to do with this. Upon our return the pears ripened and were abundantly harvested and put up. The dog sat under the pear tree like a wolf, looking straight up and raising hell anytime something got in there.

We would attack the critter with a apple picking stick and watch it leap from the pear tree to the arborvitae next to the pear then up into the now empty apple trees, down the fence and gone.

I am delighted to report the little bastards got just a few pears.

Probably still full of apples.

Rifles are not allowed in Evanston.