I have the report…

Actually, I don’t have the report. But this is an experiment to see how far I can push with a headline because, as my friend Mike Tackett at the New York Times suggests, this is not the end, this is just the end of the beginning.

Over the next few days, oodles of people are going to report that they have the report, or a summary of the report, or a hint at what the report suggests, or something that is more about showing you what their position is in the pack than having the report.

And THAT is the beauty of working from my lovely home in Evanston, where I am stuck because of a head problem that leads me to fall over without notice. I don’t drink. I don’t use pot. But I do fall over. See, you CAN have one without the others.

I am being patient with my condition because it’s driving my family nuts and leaving an image of an old man doddering along wherever I go. It’s easy to get fixed on that, but that is not why I am here!

I’m here to tell you how this is going to go.

The view from, oh, 1,110 miles from Washington is clear. Lots of reporters are swarming around trying to find something with an inkling of what is in the report so they can report what they hear is in the report.

This is actually bitch blog about the nature of breaking news, which is where I made my living for 42 years or so, everywhere from the house fire of the moment at the wire service UPI to the think piece you would pull out of some orifice on Friday afternoon because some senior editor thought that’s what he or she wanted.

At one dark point during coverage of a disaster for UPI I threatened to report, “Authorities said 45 people were killed, but UPI was hoping for more!” I didn’t do that, of course, but I should have because that was the process. To get the attention you needed gore. People on the New York desk would actually push for higher numbers.

What i did was certainly not all bullshit, but it had a lot of bullshit to it at some points, I hate to have to confess at this point. It’s like revealing a journalism secret. But you know I’m telling the truth so let’s just pity one another for the way we were and move on.

It’s even worse now because most stuff is not written down. It’s broadcast into the ether and then it disappears. Only other reporters know or care if its wrong. And they have neither the time nor the interest to report that. Tooooooo busy.

We have been waiting for two whole years to find out what Robert Mueller has found and other than say, 199 charges spread across a couple of indictments of people whose names meant nothing to much of anyone until Trump came along, I fear we are heading for disappointment.

What did you expect? Photos of Trump and Russian chief oligarch Vladimir Putin in the sack?

Here’s the news from me. You don’t need Russian Collusion to dislike the president enough to want him to disappear into foggy bottom. He is an incompetent, a liar, a cheat and a sexist. That is enough for him to not be president, but I’m happy to wait until the next election to handle that. Impeachment is too messy and leaves everyone to embittered.

Better to wax his lardy ass at the polls. That way, he can gripe all he wants to but the numbers will be against him.

So, my thought is we should all thank Robert Mueller for doing an impossible job very well then get away from this as soon as we can. All it can do is prove the president of the United States is a dishonest idiot, and we already know that.

They can sweep on past this obscure argument about collusion and go straight for the nut cutting, how Trump spent money as a businessman, laws broken along the way, evidence proving his remarkable stupidity. It has to get so hot Lindsey Graham can’t even stand near him for fear of bursting into flame.

My money is with Nancy and the Bulldogs of Congress.

Anyhow, it’s going to take a lot of argument to make, say, 10 per cent of Trump’s support peel away and evaporate. That’s what this is about from here on out, unleashing the guy’s smell and watching the nation hold its nose until he is gone, gone, gone.

So, follow all the news if you want. But mostly you are following hot air, and I know that because I used to make some of it. Not any more.


One thought on “I have the report…

  1. Bummer about your head problem, and I am sure a good doc will fix it. You are not old, just wise. Much love to You! I love your reads much too!

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