But don’t tell anyone. My plan is to celebrate the Nations Independence on July 6, well after President Trump taints the whole celebration by dragging his fat ass down on the mall or someplace to give a speech about his wonderfulness.
This holiday has been preserved since Harry Truman’s day as president free. Sure, they can ramble on the White House lawns or sip drinks on the balcony or whatever, but none of the event has featured the president becuase the fourth, after all, is the nation’s birthday, not the presidents.
Trump plans to wreck that by this!
So I have decided to formally shift the date to July 6th. But don’t tell him because he will try to shift to match it, and we wouldn’t want that!
Wait a minute, why can’t he just change plans and be obscure on this holiday like many of his predecessors? That means I can celebrate along with everyone else without having my intentions misinterpreted. Yes, that’s it. He should just go whack a golf ball someplace.
Happy upcoming holiday!