Of course the question will soon arise, “What are we going to do with Donald Trump now that he is no longer president,” a reality his most passionate backers will always reject and a fate he is most uncertain to recognize on his own.
But he is such an advocate of delusional thinking that there could be a solution that it won’t be hard to achieve at all. The Democrats and Republicans should get together and agree to give him an honorary title as President of Red America. He built up the numbers to prove that, if not enough numbers to keep his job.
Lots of people obviously still love him, which I find baffling but then what the hell do I know? You see them on the news every ten minutes or so, their faces as red as their flags, promising “This won’t stand,” an apparent reference to the mathematics playing out around the country that will give Joe Biden the 270 electoral votes he needs and then some!
Maybe they can strap on their rifles and sidearms and go visit the president of Red America in Florida.
He would welcome them, wouldn’t he? He surely loved them out on the trail.
So what does the president of Red America actually do?
The same job Trump did when he was still president.
No more uncomfortable Covid 19 briefings. No more meetings with despots unless they are paying their own freight at his hotel in Florida. All the golf he can manage to play on his own tab (NOT OURS ANYMORE!) Unlimited access to Vladimir Putin, who likely will have nothing to say to him once he leaves the White House. Endless interviews with Fox News, clarifying that he was robbed and no one is going to do anything about it.
Long, long news conferences where he will 1. blame the media for whatever the problem is and 2. So wear out the welcome that no one will attend them anymore. It will finally be absolutely okay to ignore the tweets, just like we ignore the ravings of people in the street talking about brain waves or whatever.
Phone calls six times a day to the Supreme Court, to his folks, who will rapidly figure out how easy it is to block that number and ignore whatever he believes he is entitled to ask about.
Lots of time alone with his kids, never delightful and, frankly, little more than a collection of two legged parasites looking for money to suck out of something.
All of this and endless rounds of meetings with Rudy Giuliani, who will undoubtedly tell him at great length about how all those lawsuits and investigations, dealing with which will be his new job description, don’t mean anything and he should just stick with Rudy until it all goes away.
And, of course, Melania, now unbound.
We’ll get a good chance to see what actually resides behind that scowling look of dislike you sometimes caught when she thought no one was looking. It’s one reason why Secret Service protection should continue (or perhaps not!)
I think her best bet is to get a nice flat in D.C. and find some way to hook up with Michelle Obama. Then they can call an agent and she can write a true story about what Trump the man was really like.
I would buy that.